How To Protect Yourself From Dating 🚩Red Flag 🚩 Behaviors & Stop Getting Breadcrumbed

It can be damn hard to know for sure if someone you really like isn’t good for you. Out of the thousands of “red flags” you could potentially see in someone, you start to lose hope that you’re ever gonna find a good guy to be in a loving relationship with. But don’t give up! I’m here to tell you there’s tons of good guys out there and you just may be underestimating him based on some of your own red flags. I'm gonna tell you how to flip it! Read on for tips on how to sort that stuff out FOR GOOD and finally be able to figure out if a guy is really a keeper or if it’s time to call it off and redirect your energy and attention .

So what are red flags, really?

Most of us are well aware that there are certain behaviors or attitudes that are caution signals that it’s time to evaluate a relationship and decide if it’s right for you. We KNOW red flag behaviors OUGHT to alarm us.

But here’s the thing… When a woman (or a man, for that matter) experiences red flag behaviors from the wrong person / people in their past, it can haunt her long after that relationship is dead and gone, especially if it was her first or longest love. Emotional attachments and other cognitive biases form after a tough break-up and it hinders how you move forward in your love life and relationships with new guys.

When we feel our fragile, INSTINCTUAL human ego get hurt, we automatically get pissed, create a space to “protect” ourselves, and then expect retribution to come from the next guy that pops up in our life and we decide he has qualities we like. OUR red flag behaviors happen because we don’t know how else to protect our soft underbelly.

It’s no different for a man.

After a lifetime of up and down dating experiences, this author decided it was time to truly understand what was really at the center of all the unhealthy patterns and toxic cycles that kept showing up in her relationships, instead of just blaming herself or the man in question.

That’s when I learned that not all red flags are NOT red lights!

There’s layers to this shit, y’all. Layers of my shit and layers of his shit. All it takes is an understanding of that part to start seeing your love life improve drastically.

Now, in order to understand how a man is behaving with you, it’s important to remember that all of a man’s behaviors, both red flag and green flag, are a result of how his 6 Core Primal Pillars are being activated and stimulated in his life, over a period of time. (Don't worry if you never heard of them, You can grab the easy-to-use infographic guide at the end of this post that explains it all in detail.)

Whether you know it or not, YOU could be what’s perpetuating the cycle of poor relationship behavior coming into your life. You know I’m telling the truth… that’s why there’s so many jokes and memes about it. That's why you keep falling for the same guy over and over again. When you’re romantically frustrated, meeting new people and freely exploring new potential relationships can be tough. I get it.

But what does your current dating situation say about your next one?

Are you souring your own milk?

Just like every lead actress in every rom-com love story on the screen, there’s a guy out there that’s a perfect match for you. He’s challenging, charming, well-read, slick in all the right ways… sharp! Yep, he's not afraid to express his love or his opinion. He, just like you, is waiting for the right one to come along and share that love with— The kind of guy who doesn’t want to whine, nag, or bully to get the kind of love he wants. Nor does he want to be whined to, nagged at, or bullied into a relationship either. That’s for the toxic guys!

Let’s be honest… most women tend to make a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to dating and relationships, especially if they really like the guy. It's really counterintuitive, when you think about it. It really makes it a difficult and exhausting task for her to determine whether red flag behaviors are simple cautions that something is up, or an actual major problem.

Obviously there are clear signs of a major problem, like blatant lying, excessive nit-picking, demeaning "jokes", desperate drunk texts, angrily barking orders, and living way above his means. Other red flags are more subtle, and take a bit more active listening to discern. And, yet, other red flags you may see are simply projections of your own insecurities.

What I mean by that is, most women aren’t actually skilled at judging how most guys behave outside of her own feelings. Remember… she’s probably viewing him through the lens of the old stuff she’s “protecting” herself from, so her judgement is a little off regarding relationships.

Seriously, whether you’re trying to figure out if moving forward with a guy would end up toxic, or whether a pathological liar is playing mind games in a current relationship, or whether a guy's just having a bad day... not being able to read a person means your dating life is a basically a ball of tough luck.

Most men know how to calibrate a dating relationship to suit their needs, and that's how you get breadcrumbed.

It's a dynamic - for example, dude talks to her but doesn't ask her out. Dude ruins their time together by acting weird, being rude, doesn't just say sweet things or says them too damn much. Your emotions get in a tizzy, your intuition gets thrown off, and you’re at the mercy of your overthinking and that usually leads making a bunch of the wrong choices.

Pace how quickly you try to build the relationship. Set, visualize, and test the resolve of your boundaries to detach yourself from any emotional outcomes and really be able to identify potential red flags AND green flags in your crush sooner.

Let THAT dictate your actions! Not the love bombs and the butterflies in ya coochie.

Sure, it would be great if all guys did everything right all the time, but c’mon… nobody’s perfect, even you. You need some discernment in order to fix your love life!

So it’s important to get really clear on yourself, your viewpoint on men, and learn how to cut a guy some slack so long as he’s showing a genuine willingness to try.

When you’re in complete awareness, you can read the signs your date is giving off and it’ll be easier for you to decide whether his green flags are really something to get excited about or whether his red flags will jerk you back to reality and change your course of action with him. Easy.

Take if from a gal who’s been on both sides of the emotional seesaw, uncovering this pillar info is what improved my love life and relationships with men tenfold, where today I have my choice of great guys to spend my time with and enjoy, instead of worrying, wondering, or waiting for some guy to choose me.

All because I’ve learned how to build real, genuine, deep emotional bonds with the guys who are worth it by paying attention to these 6 core primal pillars and become virtually breadcrumb-proof to the guys who aren’t.

I got a framework that provides insights into a guys behavior and motivation that typically goes undetected or ignored in romantic relationships and it could be costing you BIG in love. Knowing this stuff is gonna put you above 98% of the women you’re competing with in the dating world.

Want to get it? Click on the link below to download my “DATING 101: RED FLAG / GREEN FLAG BEHAVIOR FILTER infographic free.