Playing The H.E.A.D. Game: How to Emotionally Activate the Dick

Hello, all you beautiful people out there. I’m Indigo Dawn, THE sex edutainer, and I am so excited you decided to drop in today to play The HEAD Game with me. I wanna thank you so much for tuning in to this very first, inaugural episode of the podcast and I know you might be asking, “What the hell is this HEAD game all about and why tf should I play it with you?”... well, I’ll tell ya what right now...

The “head” in HEAD Game stands for “How to Emotionally Activate the Dick”, which, as silly as it sounds, is really the practical solution for most women to solve their love life problems and/or relationship anxiety issues... things they probably still suffer from even though they’ve achieved certain accolades, and done mountains of spiritual, and self-love, and confidence work on themselves, and they can’t really figure out why all their hard work isn’t translating into happy successful relationships with men.

Then they end up either 1) questioning their own self esteem and doubting their confidence or 2) overcompensating by getting extreme and overt in expressing their “confidence”, which ultimately leads down the aggressive ass “I don’t need a man” route, which really isn‘t attractive to anybody. Like “Bitch please”. Yes tf we do. You included.

I know… cuz I've been on both sides of that spectrum and put in years and years of self work before I realized that I was only working on 50% of the equation and I was NOT having fun in my love life. There’s a whole other person involved and no matter how much work I did on myself, I was still only working on half of the type of relationship I was wanting, without acknowledging that relationships are their own living, breathing entities, with their own nuances that require its own attention and “work”. The problem with doing all the self work regarding love is we can kind of pigeon hole ourselves into an “I am woman, hear me roar” type of confidence and expect that to be enough to attract the type of man we want. Almost like we’re entitled just because we want it, but we don’t actually do anything to get it. Like it’s just supposed to fall into our laps because we bought some crystals and started meditating with essential oils and got our birth charts and tarot cards read and learned all about love languages. Easy, right? Not saying it can’t happen… But C’mon!

See, it’s when you work thru all self-love stuff and actually DO the thing you said you wanted to do that you transition into a level of self-actualization where you’re sure of what you really want and desire... and that’s where you realize you’ve spiritually bypassing taking any accountability for proactively creating and cultivating the environment that makes a man become emotionally attracted to you and actually want to be that guy for you. It’s just easier to blame men for not “doing love” right and just wanting to fuck than to make ourselves accountable for creating and nurturing that environment for both of us.

And since most women like to claim a man is led by his dick (not true, btw)... I landed on the snappy title of this show… The HEAD Game. But what I’m really talking about is subtly stimulating a man’s core needs. That “thing” that makes a man a man. His primal masculinity. That’s the place he leads from. And that’s where you cultivate his true feelings and love for you, not just activating a hellified dick down, although that is a fortunate side effect of all this stuff. If I, as the feminine, can nurture the environment, he, as the masculine, can lead us to success and abundance. THAT is the very definition of the woman being the strength behind every great man. There’s nothing weak about that!

This episode is gonna be a lil longer, and just me with no guests, because I’m gonna be laying the foundation, the north star, for all the advice and shit I’ll be giving on this show to improve your interactions with men, so I wanted to have something for you to refer back to whenever you want, in case you need a refresher.

So... how do we emotionally activate the dick as opposed to the regular “a dick gets hard for anything” activation? Well, I believe there are 6 pillars vital to a man’s core needs that when consistently, and harmoniously stimulated sequentially, will solve 99% of every single thing you think is a problem when dealing with your man or men in general (which is exactly what we’re gonna be doing on this show, btw… offering solutions to the problems the audience writes in about, using these pillars as a foundation for action). They build on each other to create a bond of mutual trust and respect that are the two most vital ingredients to a true loving relationship.

I’ma tell you about the pillars in just a minute, but before I do, a few disclaimers:

1- This shit ain’t no magic pill and there’s no guarantee that the man you want is gonna want you no matter what you do, but at least learning these pillars and putting this stuff to use is gonna help you move along faster to what is meant for you, because you be waayyyy more sure of yourself in relationships. At the end of the day, incompatibility is incompatibility and you’re just gonna have to accept the fact that not everyone is meant to be together. Detach from the outcomes and just enjoy the now.

2- At no point should you ever… EVER… put in more effort than you’re receiving, no matter what stage of “together” you are. If you’re putting in everything you got and getting back only 20%, it’s gonna lead to unreasonable expectations and unmet needs. You’re not gonna get more effort out of him if you double down on something he’s not interested in in the first place. You put in 20% and wait to get 20% in return before you consider putting in another 20%. That way you’re not wasting time, energy, and emotions in vain. Detach from the outcomes and know how and when to walk away.

And 3- You better be goddamn sure all that self work you did actually took hold and you are confident enough to see the forest through the trees cuz you’re gonna have to learn how to detach yourself from fairy tale outcomes you conjure up in your head and be able to deal with what’s right in front of you in a balanced, logical manner. You’re gonna find yourself triggered a lot at first, just cuz of buzzwords and shit like that but… bottom line is You gotta learn the art of emotionally logical communication. Have a reason for feeling what you’re feeling, and be able to express it clearly without trying to make him feel the same thing. That’s not gonna make him understand it or you any better. If you’re truly coming from a healed space, this won’t be a problem for you... But I digress.

Aight… so on to the pillars. We got: